“I want to go to heaven, but I don’t know if I really believe in God. What if the Bible is not true? What if God’s not real?”
My sweet little seven year old daughter was looking up at me with her big blue eyes, waiting for my answers.
But, I didn’t have any answers. My heart was crushed by worry, fear, and disappointment.
I was NOT READY for my daughter to start asking these questions.
After all, she had already asked Jesus into her heart when she was five.
What was going on? Why was she suddenly questioning everything?
Have your kids ever come to you questioning your faith? It can be a terrifying experience. But, here are some truths that we need to remember when our children question God:
As Christian parents, we love our children with immeasurable love. We try to protect them from the “big, bad, world” in any way that we can. We teach our children about God. We strive to saturate their young hearts with the Bible.
Then, we are shocked when our children start to question the things that we have taught them.
It is easy for us as Christian parents to forget four important truths:
You have probably taught your children the importance of brushing their teeth. Your preschoolers and elementary aged children may balk a bit, but you stand firm and make them brush their teeth. It becomes a habit.
However, at some point your children have to decide for themselves that brushing their teeth is a good thing. Otherwise, when they leave home and get their first apartment, they will stop brushing their teeth.
Some kids are going to give you a harder time about this than others. “Mom, do I HAVE to brush my teeth? WHY do I always have to brush my teeth?” These questions give you an opportunity to explain the health and social benefits of good oral hygiene. Other kids will never really question.
Each child, whether a questioning child or a silent child, must in their own minds decide whether they will accept your wisdom and make this chore their own habit, or reject it.
Furthermore, this teaching may need to be addressed multiple times as your child grows. When they are toddlers, they might accept the importance of brushing their teeth because they see mommy brushing her teeth. As they become older, they might do it because they went on a school field trip to the dentist’s office and saw a video about the importance of good oral care. When they become teenagers, they might again question the importance of oral hygiene – until someone teases them about their bad breath.
At some point, our children have to decide for themselves that clean teeth and fresh breath is something that they themselves value.
In the same way, our children must decide for themselves whether they will make our faith their own faith. As they grow, they may question it in different ways at different times. That’s a normal part of growing up.
Rather than being shocked and upset, graciously give your child some room to question and grow.
When our children ask questions, it means that they are thinking independently about God. This is absolutely necessary for them to make the Christian faith their own.
They cannot absorb our faith. They must come to peace with God through the Holy Spirit’s working in their own hearts.
We are called to be faithful parents, teaching our children the truth. Our children are called to respond to it. Our children’s salvation is ultimately between them and God.
If your children are bringing their questions to you, it means that they trust you. They are looking for answers. Don’t condemn them for their lack of faith, act shocked, or grieved. Instead, be willing to talk to them about their doubts in a nonjudgmental way. Strive to keep communication open between you and your child.
When your children come to you with questions and doubts, take a deep breath. Pray like crazy, and give your kids room to talk, explore, and grow. Let God do a work in their hearts!
May God bless you!